Manipulator Behaviour
One of the key objectives of a manipulator is to establish control over a person’s emotional, and sometimes sensory, sphere in order to weaken their critical perception of reality. This is often achieved by exploiting a person’s desire for belonging and recognition, which are fundamental components of self-esteem, as well as its negative counterpart - vanity.
Appealing to Guilt
Another common tactic used by manipulators is appealing to guilt. They use messages that imply failing to perform certain actions will lead to unhappiness or negative consequences, attributing guilt to the person and suggesting that their self-esteem will suffer, thereby making them more susceptible to manipulation.
Using Impersonal Pronouns
Manipulators often use impersonal pronouns like "everyone" or "no one," as well as unfounded generalisations like "always," "never," and "everywhere," to impose fabricated values and push their "agenda." By creating a false sense of conformity, they attempt to sway people towards desired behaviour using statements like "everyone is doing it now" or "real men (women) always prefer this."
Appealing to a Person’s Immediate Circle
Additionally, manipulators may appeal to a person’s immediate circle, assuming a sanctimonious stance. They might assert that certain actions are a duty to family, parents, or children, using emotional connections to invoke guilt and manipulate the person into compliance.
May Resort to Threats
Manipulators may also resort to threats of self-harm or offer unnecessary services expecting repayment, using the “foot-in-the-door” technique to gradually escalate their demands.
How to Combat Manipulative Tactics
To counter manipulative tactics, it is crucial to value your own beliefs and protect your self-concept from destabilisation under external influence. When provoked, a useful strategy is not to engage in confrontation but to simply agree with the attacker to defuse the situation. For example, responding to offensive remarks from strangers with a calm phrase like "I have a different point of view" can be effective in avoiding unnecessary conflict. It is important not to feel obliged to prove your worth to close ones, allowing them the freedom to hold their own opinions without compromising your true self. This approach preserves individual freedom and self-identity.
